Lately I've been battling with my flesh. This past week I've had to fight against the things I want, the things I desire, and the things I think I deserve and give them all to The Lord for my hearts sake. And what I have noticed about all the things that I have had to constantly surrender to The Lord, is that all the things I want, and desire, and think I deserve are all things I see via social media.
Every day is a battle. It seems like the more I look at IG or Facebook or Wanelo or Pinterest the more I covet what others have and what others do or make. It is sin. I have noticed that the moment I'm bored I have to look at some form of social media until the next physically interesting thing happens. It's kind of embarrassing to admit but I'm sure most people do it to. But I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to look at another person and their life and think that my life is so "boring" or "messy" compared to theirs. Then that's when I think I deserve a life like theirs. Or I don't want to think my art or different expressions of creativity are less important than others. I don't want to think I am disqualified from all of the Lords plans for me because I work 9 hrs a day. But if I constantly feed myself with social media, that's all that is going to happen.
Do you see my battle? I think all of us feel inadequate when comparing ourselves to others. But when I was a kid, before Facebook or any other social media came around, I do not remember one time where I felt bad for who I am or what I wear or what skills and talents I have or even where I have been or where I am going. Life was simple and I was who I was.
So to change that, I've been battling against my flesh. I've been trying to spend time in the Word to renew my mind and to remember who I am in The Lord and how HE sees me; not how I see myself. I've been trying to watch less movies. I've been trying to start my day in worship rather than opening IG or Facebook the moment I wake up or the moment I lay down to go to bed. If I do that, the first and last thing I do in my day is compare myself to others or want something that isn't mine. I am learning to be content and trust in The Lord. I've even stopped going to my favorite stores so that I can practice being content with the clothes and stuff I have instead of wanting more. I have been intentionally thanking the Lord for my life, my wonderful loving husband, my apartment and all the stuff in it, my family, my job and the Lord's provision through that, the fact that I can create something on a canvas, also the fact that I can hold a note because I love to sing!
And in doing that, I have been seeing some changes in myself. More joy and more desire for The Lord. Now, it's still not easy to purposefully choose to read my bible instead of look at one(or all) of my social media apps but I think that when I set my heart not to, The Lord's heart is moved by that and sees that I am trying and blesses me for it. It's been hard but it has been worth it!!!
Alicia
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Alicia, this is Briana Morris from White Fields. My husband drummed a lot there, Jeremiah. Hopefully you remember us! We are now in Texas.
ReplyDeleteYour post really spoke to me. Thanks for having the courage to stand up for Christ and to address everyday real issues that we face. I'm following your blog for sure!
Blessings,
Briana